Second Chance
by Sushi1976
Summary: "With one more look around the room, I knew my past was gone for good and I couldn't be happier."
1. Chapter 1

_I Do Not Own Anything_

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**Chapter 1**

I walked into my room, setting my stuff down on my floor. I looked around the room and nothing had changed, my bed was changed but that was it. I took a deep breath and ran my hand over the guitar I use to play. I heard laughing outside, when I looked outside I saw new neighbors. There was a girl playing basketball with a boy, I'm guessing they were siblings.

"They moved in last year, they are good neighbors" I turned around to my sister, she was not the same as I remember.

"You met them?"

"I'm friends with the girl, her name is Spencer. That's her brother Glen who just got back from serving his country overseas." She pointed to the older boy who was really good at playing basketball, his sister could play too.

"Must be hard for them to have a son in the army"

"I never really ask" I nodded as I started to pull my stuff out of my bags, I slid everything into my closet and taking a seat next to my sister.

"You know everything in this room is the same, but you're not."

"What do you mean?"

"Your hair is shorter, you're taller, and you seem happier then when I last saw you"

"Well you were gone for 2 years Ashley what do you expect. As for your room mom and I decided to just leave it till you got home" I watched as she played with her fingers, I don't think either of the thought I was coming home.

"Well I'm back, and I just want to forget about anything before I left"

"I get it, I'm going to order some dinner for us"

"Okay, call me when it gets here"

After she left I stood up walking over to the wall with all the pictures of my life before I left. The friends that weren't really my friends, and the memories I can't remember. I started to rip them down, tossing them into an empty box. The life I lived before I left is a life I promise to never live again. It was a life that wrecked myself, and destroyed my family.

I walked into my bathroom and saw that everything was taken out, I only had soap and shampoo. I closed the door and walked over to my night stand, pulling out my box that kept all the drugs. When I found it empty I was relieved, I sat it back down. I looked out and saw the neighbours were gone.

"Ashley the food is here!" With one more look around the room, I knew my past was gone for good and I couldn't be happier

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	2. Chapter 2

_I Don't Own Anything_

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**Chapter 2**

"Kyla when is mom getting home?" I stopped in my tracks when I saw the girl from outside standing in my kitchen.

"Kyla went to go get something, she will be right back"

"Oh okay, your Spencer right?" She nodded taking a bite of her pizza, I walked over taking a water out of the fridge.

"You are?" I laughed, taking a sip of my water.

"Kyla's Sister Ashley"

"I didn't know she had a sister"

"It wouldn't seem like it either, I just got into town from being away for two years"

"My family moved in just a year ago"

"Kyla told me"

I took a slice of pizza and taking a seat in the kitchen. I looked over at Spencer, and I must say she had good taste in style. Maybe that's where my sister changed of style came from, I made a mental note to ask Kyla. I wanted to ask her about her brother, but I didn't think it was the right time to.

"Hey Ash you called me?"

"When is mom supposed to get home?"

"She worked till late, she never really tells me" I nodded, I didn't think my mom would be here when I came home. I was shocked to even find Kyla here waiting for me, I was glad she was.

"Spencer and I are going to this bomb fire tonight did you want to come?"

"I think my party days are over Kyla, but thanks for the invite"

We all sat there eating are dinner, the girls talking about the latest gossip in school. I couldn't help but listen more when I heard Aiden name. Spencer was telling Kyla that he is dating this girl name Madison, but she thinks they aren't going to last because Aiden doesn't seem into it. I looked up and caught Kyla looking at me, she changed the subject onto projects that she had to do. I couldn't be more relieved, you could say I didn't really care for Aiden.

"I'm going to go take a trip to the recorded store Kyla, have fun at your party and be safe."

"You know me Spencer, I never get into trouble" I smiled, it's true not once has she been in trouble.

"I think I took care of that for both of us, it was nice meeting you Spencer" She smiled as I walked over grabbing my keys and leaving.

While I was away I made sure to get my GED so I didn't have to return to high school when I got back. At rehab centre they allowed us to go out with supervision to places that they thought would be good for us, mine was a record store down town. It was a place where I could just tune out the world with lyrics that spoke what I couldn't say in person. The owner was closing up the shop, I decided to use my inheritance money to buy it. My mom didn't like the idea, but I explained why I wanted to and she couldn't say no.

My mother and I never did really get a long, we did at some points. Before I got into trouble all the time, we use to be really close. My mom was the first person I told about me liking girls, she threw me a coming out party. Then when I started to hang out with the wrong friends, and doing drugs my mother and I drifted apart. I'm only a year older then Kyla, but I know her and I drifted apart too. It wasn't till I almost died that my mother said enough and sent me to get help that was the last time I saw her. We talked over the phone, but it was just to talk about how I was doing and getting out. I would have gotten home earlier, but I relapsed too many time for them to agree I was ready to come home.

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	3. Chapter 3

_I really do not own anything, but I do own my brain _

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**Chapter 3**

We walked down the beach where everyone was gathered around a huge fire drinking and dancing. I wasn't the dancing type or even a drinker, but Kyla wanted to go to this so I got dragged with her. She had been off these past couple of days, she barely would talk and now I guess I know why. I never asked Kyla about why she never told me about her sister, I got the impression that it was a sensitive subject.

Kyla went over to grab us some drinks, I decided to walk around and see if I knew anyone here. Being the new person in town made it hard to make friends, but after joining the basketball team I made a few. Kyla and I became friends when my dog ran off to her back yard when we first moved in.

"Hey Spencer, didn't think you would come to something like this"

"Hey Ally, and I wasn't going to but Kyla begged me to come"

"Well I'm glad you did, it's good to see you outside of the court. You're always stuck reading those books of yours."

"It's a hobby that I never can stop, I guess I should be social since I am part of a school team now"

"You should, would you like to take a walk with me down by the water?" I looked around for Kyla and saw she was talking to some guy, she was going to be there for a while.

"Sure, let's go"

We walked down to the water enough so the water was coming up touching our bare feet as we walked. I had left my shoes in Kyla's car, I didn't think I would need them while we were on the beach. At first Ally and I didn't talk, we just kept walking. Then she finally started to talk, I wasn't good at making conversation.

"Where are you from Spencer?"

"Ventura, my family decided to move here to L.A when my mom got a new job offer at the hospital."

"So your mom is a doctor?"

"A surgeon, she usually works in the ER. She does do some side surgeries, but she loves the high of being in the ER"

"What about your father?"

"He is a Social worker, and he works with a lot of youth centres around the city and works with the government to help find solutions for the homeless teens"

"Wow sounds like you have some really dedicated parents, do you want to be like them when you grow up?"

"Their lives are full of fixing the problems in this world, I want my future to be about seeing the good in the world. I want to be a photographer, or a journalist"

"What would you write about, or taking photos of?"

"Anything that brings a smile to my face I guess, what about you. What do you want out of this world?"

"I would love to be a famous basketball player, but I will settle for being anything really. I was thinking of being a gym teacher, I know its low but I love seeing young people finding their love in sports"

"It's not low, I think that's a good career. What about your family?"

"My family doesn't really care, they are more like hippies and love this environment"

"I would love to have those kind of parents, do they come to your games?"

"You know those two people who are always cheering loud, and makes us jump when they scream all the time?"

"Let me guess your parents?"

"Yup, they love showing their support. They do the same at my 7 yr. old soccer games, and he hates it"

"Parents showing that much support is a good thing, you should enjoy it"

"I do actually enjoy it, I just get embarrassed sometimes"

"Well I won't tell anyone, but I see why you're always smiling during games"

"You notice?" I stopped and put my hands in my pockets, sunnily I got really shy in front of her.

"Ya, you have a beautiful smile"

"Thank you, you should smile more so I can say the same to you"

"I'll try my best"

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	4. Chapter 4

_I just own my own thoughts!_

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**Chapter 4**

When I got home I saw the kitchen light on, it was only 10 so I knew my sister and Spencer wasn't home yet. I walked in and saw my mother sitting there with a glass of wine going over some stuff. I leaned against the wall and watch her work away, deep down I was scared to even speak to her. It made me hate myself for hurting her the way I did, she deserved a better daughter then myself.

"Ashley, welcome home sweetie" I walked over leaning against the kitchen island, my mom looked more worn out then before when I saw her at the centre.

"I got in earlier, but I went down to the record store."

"When are you planning on opening it?"

"Soon as the stage is ready, thank you for helping me arrange the construction on it."

"Well if this is what you want to use your money for, and will make you happy then I'm more than willing to help"

"It will mom, I'm actually excited for it to open up. How is work going?"

"Work is good, I took on a new case so I have been really busy. I barely have seen your sister since I took it."

My mother is a lawyer for the top agency in town. She works for all the local celebrities, and that's where she met my father. He was the singer for purple venom, and when he got into some trouble his record label hired my mom to help him. Of course she won the case, and for that my father took her out on a date. They hit it off really well, so well that I was born 9 months after. After a year they again conceived another child, my sister. When I was 10, and Kya was 9 they got a divorce. I was okay with it since I was tired of all the fighting, but my sister became very quiet and didn't like to talk about it.

"I'm sure she understands mom, I was hoping to actually spend more time with her since I'm back. I feel like she grew up even more since I left, I know she is only a year younger but still"

"I noticed it too, ever since she started spending time with that Spencer girl."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No I think it's a good thing, she has been laughing more and enjoying her high school days"

"She should enjoy her time while she can, I know I'm done with high school and all that drama"

"Your only 18 Ashley, you don't have to grow up so fast. You should also enjoy the time you have while you're still young"

"I'm just tired of that life mom, I want something different"

"Okay, well just make sure you have some fun just not too much okay?" I looked up from my hands and saw my mom looking at me.

"That lifestyle is over mom, I promise"

"Good"

Just like that the conversation ended, I took a bottle of water and headed up to my bedroom. I turned on my music taking out my laptop, I had the urge to write some music. I wrote the title and stared at the screen, apparently the words weren't coming out of me. I heard some laughing and I knew the girls were back. I got up from my bed and looked out into the hall, Sara was helping my sister up the stairs and into her bedroom. I went back to my bed, I would have to speak to my sister about these parties.

"Ashley?" Spencer was standing in my doorway holding keys, and a bottle of water. I turned off the music, and shut my laptop.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

"I just wanted to leave Kyla's keys with you, she had a little too much so I drove her car home. I gave her some water, and place the garbage next to her bed. I'm sorry I didn't watch how much she drank"

"Does she do this a lot?"

"Drinking, no not usually, I don't really go to parties but she dragged me to this one" I nodded, getting up to grab my sweater.

"Well thank you for taking care of her, I'll walk you home"

We got outside, I noticed she was looking up at the stars. I did up my coat and walked over to stand next to her. I could smell her coconut shampoo when the wind blew through her hair.

"We don't get to see the stars much here since the lights are so bright"

"I notice, I miss seeing them every night"

"I'm guessing you come from a city without a lot of lights on at night?"

"Ventura"

"I have been there, it's a good place to live."

"It was, but I guess L.A works too"

"Do you miss it, I mean do you miss your old friends?"

"I actually didn't have many friend to miss, when I moved here my parents made me try out for basketball to make friends. My dad thought I should be more social able then being behind my many books I would read"

"Reading isn't a bad thing, I wish I could sit and read all day. I rather do that then deal with the people around me, especially when it comes to school"

"Why don't you go to school, you don't look like your old enough to be an adult"

"Thank you, I'm actually 18. I got my GED just so I didn't have to go back to the hell whole. I can't stand high school and everything that comes with it"

"I feel you, I tried convincing my parents to let me get my GED or home school me."

"They weren't down for it?"

"Nope, they said high school is part of being a teen that it will teach me values and life lessons"

"They are right, high school is a place where you get to find out who you are as a person and what you want out of this world. I just decided early what I wanted, after making a few mistakes along the way."

"I'm guessing those mistakes were the reason you were gone for two years?"

"They were, my sister never told you why?"

"I never asked, it's not really my business I just know she seems happy that your back" I smiled, and waited till she unlocked her front door.

"Goodnight Spencer"

"Goodnight Ashley"

After I waited for her to go inside, I walked back across the street. I stood on my front porch and looked up at the sky. I thought about my dad and how we use to spend night out here watching the sky to see if we could spot any stars, of course we didn't. I looked over and saw Spencer standing at her window, I waved and went inside.

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	5. Chapter 5

_I don't own anything!_

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**Chapter 5**

It's been couple of weeks since I got home, and so far things have been good. Kyla and I have hung out a few times, and Spencer as joined us too. Ever since I been back Kyla has been dragging me to all SPencer's games with her, don't get me wrong its fun just I didn't enjoy the looks from everyone. Two years ago I was in the 10th grade making a fool of myself, and making horrible mistakes. Now everyone who thought I died is looking at me like I just came back from the dead. The worst part about going to these games were seeing the girls that I use to fuck then never call back, most of them weren't even gay just drunk that I took advantage of.

"Ashley, hey!" I almost jumped out of my seat when Kyla was slapping my arm to get my attention, apparently I have been zoning out a lot.

"Sorry sis I was distracted"

"By all the girls around here?"

"No, by my own stupid past"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing I'm going to get some fresh air"

"Okay well the game is almost over so we will meet you by your car" I nodded and left to go out to my car, I couldn't sit in that gym anymore.

I got outside and I felt like I could finally breathe, going to these games and seeing everyone was starting to make me feel like I was being suffocated. The stares made me feel like I was being watched all the time, and the whispers made me realize how fucked up I was. I leaned against my car taking a puff of my smoke, I just wanted to go home away from everything that reminded me of who I use to be.

"Ashley Davies, never thought I would see you back here" I looked over to see Jay, he was with Adam, Nick, and Susie.

"Well I wouldn't show my face around here unless I was dragged too, besides seeing you just made my night that much worst"

"Oh come on we use to have fun, remember?"

"That wasn't fun Jay that was hell"

"In the moment you were loving it so don't complain" I swallowed as Nick came up to stand in front of me, I felt his hand slip into my front pocket.

"What are you doing?" I couldn't move, I wanted to shove him away but my hands were frozen beside me.

"Giving you what you love, think of it as a welcome home present" I relaxed as nicked pulled back, wrapping his arms around Susie.

"See you later Ashley, and don't worry we will see you again like old times" Jay winked, leading them into the gym where I had just come out.

I reached down and pulled out the baggy that Nick had slid into it. I grabbed the drugs in my hand, using my fist to punch the side of my car. I hated that just seeing them made me feel so weak inside, I hated being afraid of the words they spoke. I quickly shoved the drugs into my back pocket when I heard my name being called.

"Hey you guys did great tonight Spencer"

"They lost Ashley, don't mind her she was a little out of it tonight. I think she was distracted by all the cute girls around her" I shooked my head, that wasn't even close to why I wasn't paying attention I wish it was.

"Sorry I was distracted, but not for that reason. How about I get us some ice cream, my treat"

"I would like that" something about her smile gave me Goosebumps on my arm, I opened the door for her since my sister dibbed the front.

I looked over that the people I use to spend all my time with, they were leaning against the far wall smoking up. I saw myself in the one girl, I hope she understands what she was getting into because for me it was one hell of a time until it almost took my life. I saw Jay look my way smiling, I shook my head and got into the car and drove off. As I drove I could feel the drugs in my back pocket, making me grip the steering wheel even harder as I drove.

When we got to the ice cream shop Kyla saw some of the girls she hangs with, and went over to talk to them. Spencer took a seat next to on one of the many picnic tables enjoying her mint chocolate chip ice cream. I decided not to get any, ice cream wasn't really my thing.

"What made you distracted?"

"What?"

"Kyla said you got distracted watching the game, so if it wasn't the girls what was it?" I placed my hands on my knees, holding them together.

"I left for two years Spencer, and everyone likes to point and stare at the fact I'm back"

"Must make you feel like you're being watched all the time"

"Pretty much, that's why I don't really go places. I get that people have questions, but they need to stop staring"

"You must have been very popular if everyone knows who you are and that you have been gone for two years"

"I wasn't really the popular kid, more like the bad destructive teen who made sure everyone knew I didn't care about anyone or anything"

"Why were you like that, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I was dealing with a lot back then, I had just lost my father and the press was always in my face since my father was a guitar legend"

"How did Kyla did with all of it?"

"I don't know, she never talked. That's why my mom and I say she has changed since I went away, look at her over there talking to her friends."

"So? She is just talking to her friends"

"Two years ago you would never have seen my sister talk to anyone, she was always quiet and stuck to reading. Now she has friends, she laughs, and she even goes to parties"

"Does that scare you?" I gave her a questioning look, because I didn't see how that would scare me.

"I meant the parting, does it scare you?"

"It scares me sometimes, I don't want her to go through what I did. I think she knows better and won't go down that path"

"What if she does?"

"I guess I would help her get back on the right path, and pray she doesn't fuck up as much as I did"

"How do you know what is the right path and what's not?"

"Are you some sort of philosopher now Spencer?"

"I'm just saying, we don't get to choose what path we take. Everything happens for a reason, and there is a reason why your path went the way it did"

"Oh ya and why is that?"

"So you could spend you night talking to me about life paths while your sister is over there flirting with that boy" I quickly looked over and saw it was Aiden she was flirting with, I stood up and walked over pushing him away from my sister.

"Ashley what are you doing!"

"Stay away from her Aiden!" I shoved him again enough to make him fall on the ground, I stood over him taking a swing at his face.

"Ashley stop!"

"If you ever come near her I'll kill you!" I pulled back letting him wipe the blood from his lip, and from his nose.

"Is that a threat Davies?"

"No that's a promise!" I grabbed Kyla pulling her over towards Spencer, I flung open my car door and told the girls to get in.

"I'm glad to see your back Davies, does the old gang know your back?" I looked over at him covered in blood.

"I mean it Aiden, don't come near them again" I got in putting my car in drive, and speeding off towards my house.

On the way home no one talked, I think the girls were too afraid to even speak. I could feel someone shaking next to me, I looked over and saw Spencer shaking. I turned up some of my relaxing music until we pulled into our driveway, Spencer was spending the night so when we arrived she went inside while Kyla stayed outside with me.

"What the hell was that Ashley?"

"Since when did you start hanging out with him Kyla?"

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't want you ever to go near him again you hear me!"

"You can't control who I hang with Ashley you're not my mother so back off!" I slammed my hand on the roof of my car, and looked at her.

"Kyla I'm serious he is mad news understand!"

"No I don't, he hasn't done anything wrong to hurt me or Spencer so fuck off with this protection shit!" with that she walked inside slamming the front door, rest my head in my hands trying to calm down.

When I got into my room Spencer was sitting on my bed, she looked like she was still startled from what had happen tonight. I slowly walked in setting my keys on my desk, not knowing what to say.

"Kyla locked her door on me, I'm afraid to knock" I nodded, sitting beside her on the bed that I didn't make this morning.

"You can sleep in here, let my sister cool off for the night"

"Are you okay?" I nodded, staring at the door.

"Are you?"

"I think so, I just never saw someone get so angry before"

"Sorry about that, Aiden just isn't a good guy and I don't want him around my sister that's all"

"Okay, I'm tired so I'm going to sleep" I nodded and let her get under the covers, I went into the washroom and got changed.

I got under the blankets, staring up at the ceiling. Tonight was one night I didn't want to relive, nor did I want to talk about. I knew I wasn't go to be able to sleep, suddenly I felt a hand intertwine with mine. I didn't react, I let it happen and soon my eyes felt heavy and I was sound asleep in minutes.

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	6. Chapter 6

I own nothing**!**

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**Chapter 6**

The next morning I didn't want to open my eyes, with the body behind me and her arm around me I wanted to stay in the moment. I slowly turned over facing her, she didn't move. I brought my hand up to move some hair out of her eyes, she was so fragile and so beautiful. Seeing her so angry last night made me wonder what her past was about, why it brought her so much pain.

"Sleep, it's still early" I almost jumped, but then I relaxed into the bed still staring at her while her eyes were closed.

"How do you know it's still early, you haven't even looked at the time"

"Because I'm still tired, so it's still early now sleep" I smiled, closing my eyes while relaxing more into her very comfy pillows.

"Shut off your brain Spencer"

"I can't, I'm always awake at this time"

"This time being?" I saw her open one eye, then close it again.

"10am, it's not too early"

"Your right, but its Saturday and I really don't want to do anything today"

"Then let's not, but I do need food so I'm going to make breakfast" I almost leaned down to kiss her, but I didn't.

I got up putting my sweater on, and pulling up my track pants. Ashley room was so hot that I ended up sleeping in my bra and underwear. I felt a little shy when I looked over and she was smiling at me, I turned and walked out and down to the kitchen. I stopped when I saw Kyla standing there buttering her toast, I walked over and stood next to her.

"Hey ky, how did you sleep?"

"I slept well, did you go home last night or?"

"I slept in Ashley room since you sounded too upset to have a sleep over, I'm sorry if I chose the wrong option" I saw she shake her head quickly.

"No not at all, I'm sorry for that I guess last night made me pist off"

"Why?"

"Because of what my sister did, I hated that she did that to Aiden"

"Maybe she had a good reason, not saying I'm choosing a side or anything"

"I know she probably does, but I just hate that she just got back and is trying to control my life"

"I don't think she is trying, I think she knows people that you might not know?"

"Ya maybe, hey do you want to go hang out at the mall today?"

"I can't, my parents are coming home today and I promise I would come home soon as they arrived"

"Damn, my friends wanted me to go watch the new movie with them and I wanted you to come." I took a seat and looked up at her.

"You can go Kyla, I don't mind."

"You sure?"

"Yes now go, have fun" She smiled and gave me a tight hug. I didn't really like the mall or her friends so I didn't mind skipping this trip to the mall.

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I laid in bed after Spencer got up and left. I didn't mean to watch her get dress, but her body was so beautiful. The way her hair flowed over her shoulders, how her skin glowed when the sun hit it. I wanted to run my hands down her spine, and watch her shiver to my touch. It took me a lot not to just kiss her while she was beside me watching me sleep.

I never fell in love, I guess I was always afraid too. Watching my parents fight all the time, and seeing what the divorce did on Kyla and I made me never want to go through that again. I would always just hook up with girls, have sex then move on to the next one. There was some girls who I would lead on just because the sex was good, but in the end I left them with a broken heart.

"You're awake?"

"I couldn't get back to sleep after you left, I guess it wasn't comfy with you gone" I saw her turn her head when I made her blush.

"Your sister went to the mall with her friends, I have to stay and wait for my parents to get home"

"She ditched you?" I sat up, crossing my legs with my hands on them.

"No, she has her friends and I don't really enjoy shopping so I told her to go have fun."

"Wait you don't hang with the same friends?"

"No, she has her friends from her grade and I have mine from my grade"

"Wow, and I thought my friends were complicating"

"You have friends?" I grabbed my pillow and tossed it at her head, I was shocked that she tried to insult me.

"I actually don't, I lost them all when I left"

"I can be your friend, since you're so desperate" This time I gave her a little shove, enough for her to fall off my bed.

"I don't think I want you as friend if you're a jerk!"

"Okay well I'll try not to be a jerk, now get out of bed and entertain me till my rents get home"

"How about we just go back to bed?"

"Nope"

"Movie?"

"Okay"

"In bed?"

"Nope"

"Couch downstairs?"

"Sure" I smiled, getting up to get my clothes on. It's usually cold in my room, but last night I was so hot I had to sleep in my underwear.

We walked downstairs and I went to put a movie in while Spencer went to get the popcorn. We couldn't watch a movie without having popcorn. I sat on the couch with the blanket covering me, when Spencer came in I open the blanket for her to sit next to me. When I pressed play she started to clap, I guess she liked the fast a furious movies. I leaned back into the couch, not caring that her body was slowly leaning into mine as she ate some popcorn.

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	7. Chapter 7

_I don't own anything, but I do own my thoughts _

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Chapter 7

Ashley walked me home when my parents told me they were on their way back from being away. She didn't have to since it was still light out, but she didn't take no for an answer. I was in my kitchen slicing up some peppers for a stir fry when my phone went off, I looked and it was Ally.

"Hello?"

"Hey Spencer its Ally, I was wondering if you're doing anything tonight?"

"I'm not too sure, I'm just waiting for my parents to get back."

"I was going to go to this new place where they are letting local bands play, I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?"

"What time?"

"It starts at 9, but the doors open at 8."

"My parents should be home by then, I'll go"

"Great! Text me your address and I'll pick you up at 730 okay?"

"Okay sounds good, see you then." I hung up, placing my phone on the table to go back to cooking.

Ally was a nice girl and she played really good. When I first moved here she was the one that showed me around school, and even help me with catching up on some homework. Kyla said she didn't really know Ally just that she was on all the sports teams. I didn't mind having my own friends, and Kyla having hers. I do think of Kyla as a best friend, but we have different tastes in what fun is.

"We are home!" I looked up at the clock in our kitchen to see it was 7, I walked over giving my father a hug.

"Hey dad how was the trip?"

"It was good honey, your mom really enjoyed the day spa and I really enjoyed the side bar" We both laughed as my mom came into the room, holding her laptop bag.

"How was your weekend without us?"

"I just hung out with the Davies, and did some homework. Plus I had that game, so I was going to go out tonight to have some fun if that okay?"

"Yes go, have fun" I nodded at my mother, giving my father a kiss on the cheek and running up the stairs.

I quickly texted Ally my address, and telling her I'll be ready in 30. I went into my closet and pulled out my most relaxing clothes I had. I wanted to be stylish, but comfy at the same time. I grabbed my bracelets, necklace, and the rings I always put on when I go out. I looked in the mirror, I saw how messy my hair was. I grabbed my elastic band putting it up in a messy bun, I didn't have time to be serious.

"Spemcer your friend is here!"

"Coming!" I grabbed my wallet, and headed down the stairs where my father was talking to Ally.

"Ready, let's go!"

We said goodbye to my dad and headed out to her car, when she open my door I couldn't help but think maybe this was a date. I put on my seatbelt and watched her get in, she was looking really hot tonight. I stopped and looked out the window, was this a date?

"Everyone has been saying this place is the place to be, and the bands that play are actually really good"

"I can't wait, just know I'm not a big fan of dancing or drinking"

"I'm not neither, I just really like listening to bands that I never heard of."

When we got there it was packed, we had to wait in line for a while before just making it inside before the first band started. We were sitting in these chairs off to the side that had a small table to set our drinks down. Ally was really into listening to the bands, and I couldn't help but smile when she would clap at the end and yell. I took a min to look around the place, I saw a bar on the other side where I guess they sell coffee in the day time.

"Spencer you okay?" she is asking because my whole body just shivered making me squirm, I felt like someone was watching me.

"Yes I am don't worry, I'm just cold"

"Here" she took off her jacket handing it to me, I smiled and said thank you.

All through the night I kept feeling like those eyes were still on me, I would look around but couldn't see anyone staring at me. After a bit I told Ally I was going to go get a drink, and asked if she wanted anything. When I got to the bar and ordered, I heard a laugh that I recognized really well. I looked over and saw Ashley talking to a girl while pouring her drink, I nodded when she looked over at me.

"You work here?"

"Ya, well kind of" she step out of the bar, walking around and leading me over the wall where I could actually hear her talk.

"What do you mean?"

"I own this place"

"Really, why didn't you ever tell me?"

"It never came up, who is that girl your with?" I looked over and saw Ally looking at us, I smiled and waved.

"Ally, she is from school"

"You're on a date?"

"I guess, I don't really know and don't care to be honest"

"I have to get back to work, but enjoy the show Spencer"

When she walked away into the back, I went back over to Ally. After explaining to her who I was talking to, she nodded and went back to watching the bands. A few minutes later she moved her hand over to intertwine our fingers. At first I didn't know what to do, but I relaxed at just enjoyed the night with my hand in hers.

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	8. Chapter 8

_I don't own anything_

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**Chapter 8**

I tossed my keys onto the kitchen counter, and went to grab a water. I was exhausted and I really wanted something stronger, but I know my mother would kill me if she caught me. I leaned against the counter grabbing my cell, I had a text from this girl who seemed pretty chill. I sent a text back saying I was heading to bed, and I would text her tomorrow.

"Your home, how was your night?" I shrugged, I wasn't really in the mood to talk about my day to my sister.

"How was yours?"

"Boring, Spencer was busy or something so I just stayed home watching TV."

"She was at my place tonight"

"What, she was at the open mic night?"

"Yup"

"Who was she with because Spencer isn't the type to just go listen to rock bands all night I don't think"

"She was with a girl name Ally"

"Really, I'm going to have to ask about that girl. She has been hanging out with her a lot."

"You jealous or something Kyla?"

"No I just want to know if my friend is gay or something"

"I am pretty sure she is" Kyla looked up at me like I knew something she didn't, then she looked at me wide eyes.

"You two had sex! You know she is a virgin right! How could you!"

"Kyla slow down, I would never sleep with one of your friends! I meant I get the vibe that she is, and really virgin?"

"Sorry I shouldn't have accused you, and yup she is but don't say anything okay"

"I won't" she smiled, giving me a hug.

"I'm going to bed, I love you Kate"

"You too KY"

I walked into my bedroom and saw there was a light coming from next door, I looked over and it was Spencer in her room. I never knew I could see her bedroom from mine, I sent her a quick text asking how her night went.

Good and yours? – S

Same, nice posters btw – A

You can see them? – S

Goodnight Spencer – A

I waved as she looked over to see me, I shut off my light and got into bed. I stared up at the ceiling thinking about tonight. When I saw Spencer walk into my Café I suddenly became nervous, I wasn't expecting her to be there. I tried to keep busy, but my eyes always found a way back to watching her. That Ally girl seems like a nice person, I just hope she doesn't her Sara. I let out a yawn and closed my eyes, sleep took over fast.

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	9. Chapter 9

_I don't nothing, but I do own my thoughts !_

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**Chapter 9**

The day was going slower than I would like, it was my last class then I had practice. I looked over at the clock, I just wanted the bell to ring. I looked around and spotted Kyla talking to Aiden, but it was like he barely would even look at her anymore. This morning she wouldn't stop asking me about Ally, I told her I didn't believe in labels.

Finally the bell rang and I couldn't have been happier. I walked down the hall to my locker, grabbing my gym bag. I looked down to see if I could catch Kyla before I left, she was standing there talking to Aiden. I walked over to see if I could hear anything, but he had left before I could hear anything.

"Kyla you okay?"

"Yup, I have to go have fun at practice" I nodded, turning to see her go to her locker and grab her books.

I don't know the story of Aiden, or even the story of Ashley. I do know that Kate really doesn't like Kyla talking to him, and it make me want to ask why. I knew that it wasn't my business and I should stay out of it till either of them want to tell me why. I know Kyla really does like Aiden, and today is the first that I have seen her sad after talking to him.

I was got to practice late due to my wondering thoughts about Kyla and Aiden, the coach made me do laps of course. After running through some plays, we all got to leave early. Coach said we had a game this Friday night, and it will be the hardest team we played against. One of my team members said it's because the team trains all year round, and they put everything into winning. I couldn't really care if we won or lost, I just like playing basketball.

"Spencer!" I pulled out my earphones looking around to see who it was, Ashley was leaning against her car beside mine.

"What are you doing here?"

"I had to drop some stuff of for my mom, her office is just over there" she pointed to the big building next to our school.

"Oh okay then"

"What are you doing here after hours?" I held up my gym bag.

"I had practice"

"Are you hungry, I was going to go get something to eat before I go back to work?"

"I could go for a burger"

"Okay, meet you at the burger joint down the street?" she pointed to the one that all the students would go on lunch.

"Ya, see you there" I got into my car, placing my bag in the back seat, I took off towards the burger place.

We took a seat in the back corner, Ashley said it was her favorite spot to sit. She had order for both of us since I never really came here, and she seemed to know what is good. I looked over at her, she was wearing this plaid shirt with a strap back hat that made her look really sexy.

"How was school, learn anything good?"

"Not really. I do enjoy school it just went really slow today."

"Did you see my sister?"

"Yes she kept asking me about my so called date" I said while giving her a pointed look, because I knew she was the one that told Kyla.

"You were brought up in a conversation we were having, and I never did call it a date I don't think. Besides my sister was just bored and couldn't get a hold of you"

"Well I still don't know if it was a date, and I told Kyla I didn't believe in labels so she would stop asking if I was a Lesbian"

"Did you kiss her?"

"Your sister no!"

"I meant the girl, did you kiss her?"

"No"

"Walked you to your door?"

"Yes"

"Opened your car door?"

"Yes"

"Held your hand?"

"Yes

"It was a date"

"Just because all that happen doesn't mean it was a date Kate"

"Yes it does, now eat up" I was about to say something, but our food arrived and it looked so good I couldn't wait to eat it.

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	10. Chapter 10

_I don't own anything :)_

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_Hey everyone, sorry for the last chapter. My program where I edit, decided not to save the good copy. So for that I will update twice this time around :) - Sushi1976_

**Chapter 10**

We sat there eating our burgers, while talking about Spencer and her old home. She was telling me how she didn't want to move here, but she didn't have a choice in the matter. I got the feeling like her mother and she didn't really get along much. She talked greatly about her father's cooking, even inviting me over sometime to try it.

"Why did your family move in the first place?"

"My mother got an offer to work at the hospital here, and she couldn't turn it down"

"What did your father think about moving?"

"He seemed okay with it, but I got the feeling he didn't want to" she reached over and started to play with her straw.

"Well he is a good person for giving up something to make your mother happy"

"I guess, but he seems happier since we moved here. I'm happy for them, I just wish I had a say in the matter"

"Did you leave anyone back in Ventura?"

"No, I didn't really have friends so it's not like I lost any by moving"

"No ex's?"

"No none of those" she laughed, and I swear I saw her blush.

"I'm shocked, you seem to get some game when it comes to girls."

"You mean Ally?"

"Both of you looked like you had fun last night, and she was totally into you Spencer"

"I think I want to stay single, being in a relationship just makes life harder"

"How so?"

"Dealing with others feelings, not knowing if your heart is going to get broken, and I rather just focus on school"

"Have you had your heart broken?"

"No, I have broken someone's heart though and it was messy"

"Rant all break ups messy?"

"Well I was the other person, I broke this guy heart and I wasn't even the one dating him"

"Damn Spencer, I never thought of you as the other person in an affair"

"Well there is a lot you don't know about me"

"Give it time Spencer" I smiled, making her again blush.

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	11. Chapter 11

_I own nothing!_

* * *

**Chapter 11**

I was sorting through some record of my fathers at the store. My mother had some guys bring them over from storage, she figured I could use them. I enjoyed having my own place, and at night I could have local artist perform at the café next door. I was just going to buy this record store, but I thought the café would be cool to own too. So I let local students run it through the day, then I take over at night hosting bands.

"Ash someone is here to see you" I looked up at Dave, and nodded.

I put the records into the box, setting it on my desk. I walked out, I looked around to see who it was and when I saw Aiden I figured it was him who was here to see me. Dave pointed to him, so I went over and tapped him on the shoulder.

"You wanted me?"

"Oh hey ya I did, if you're busy I can come back"

"Why are you here Aiden, and how did you know where to find me?"

"Your sister"

"My sister what?"

"He, I mean she told me that I could find you here" I was making him more nervous than I have seen him. I kind of felt bad.

"Relax, why you looking for me?" I walked back towards my office as he followed right behind me.

"I want you to be okay with me"

"Okay, why?"

"I would like to date your sister, but I can't because you don't like me"

"Aiden I really don't like you, and you dating my sister makes me fucking sick." Aiden was standing there with his hands in his pockets, the guy was weak when it came to this stuff.

"I really like her, and she really likes me."

"So, that not my issue"

"You're not okay with us dating, you're stopping both of us from being happy"

"Have you told her?"

"About?"

"What you did?"

"No" I crossed my legs, and was playing with my pencil in my one hand while watching Aiden look down at his feet.

"Tell her, then you can date her if she still wants you after"

"You know she won't, please don't make me Kate"

"You want to date my ill sister, then you better tell her the truth because if you ever fucking hurt her the way you hurt that girl I will fucking kill you Aiden"

"Okay, okay I'll tell her. I didn't know she didn't know"

"Like I would tell her, Aiden no one ever knew about that because your parents made sure of it"

"I know, why didn't you tell her she is your sister"

"It wasn't my story to tell"

"Your sister is right, you have changed but your still as cold as ever" I smirked then laughed a little.

"Its how I stay all warm and fuzzy on the inside. Now go I got wok to do" He nodded leaving my office.

Aiden was a good guy, but just like me his problems became overwhelming and turned to something that became worst. I dated Aiden back when I thought I liked guys, and we use to party all the time. It was the night that my drug addiction became more real than ever, is when Aiden's anger got the best of him. We all have pasts, but his he has to live with every time he goes home at night.

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	12. Chapter 12

_I dont own anything!_

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_Hey everyone! Im sorry for the name (Kate) its suppose to be (Ashley) ! - Sushi1976_

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**Chapter 12**

I looked over at my clock, it wasn't even 10 yet. I was reading one of my favorite books, but I just couldn't get into it. I got up from my bed walking over to see if Ashley was awake, she wasn't. Kyla was out with Aiden, apparently she didn't care about what her sister thought. I grabbed my phone and decided to text Ashley.

Hey Ashley, I was wondering if you were doing anything- S, it didn't take long for my phone to go off with her reply.

I'm at the Café. Come down –A

You sure. Your working- S

Come-A

I grabbed my coat, and my keys. When I got downstairs my parents were already gone to bed, so I didn't bother to tell them where I was going. I walked out of my house closing the door gently not to wake them. I was just happy that I parked on the road so they wouldn't be able to hear it start.

When I got there the man already had me written down as a special guest, so the security escorted me through the side into Ashley's office. I looked around as I waited for her, there were pictures of her with her family. I lifted what I assumed was a picture of her and Kyla playing in the pool, I noticed Kyla hair was red in the picture.

"She dyes it" I swung around almost dropping the picture when Ashley spoke from the door way.

"I'm sorry what?"

"You said that Kyla has red hair, it's because she dyes it. It's new to me to so don't worry you're not the only one with questions"

"She never told me he dyed it, I wish she didn't. Red looks good on her"

"I think so too, so what bring you by"

"I was bored, I was reading but I just couldn't get into it"

"Your more than welcome to hang out here and watch the bands, I have to stay for a little longer then I'm all yours" she winked making me laugh.

"Okay I'll stay, only because I rather listen to bands then sit at home bored"

"You might enjoy the last band"

I followed her out where everyone was sitting or standing watching the bands play. Some people where jumping up and down, and others were sitting and watching from their seats I walked over where I sat with Ally last time, taking a seat. Ashley looked over and held up a coke, I nodded. I grabbed the can from her, and moved over so she could sit next to me.

"Where do you find these bands?"

"I don't, I posted a sign-up sheet and they just show up. I just announce each name down the list."

"How many songs do they get to play?"

"They get one free one, then they have to pay 1.00 for every song after. That money goes to the band before them"

"How did you think of that?"

"If I waited a week to play then have a band play so many song that I never got a chance would pist me off"

"You play?"

"And sing, I'm pretty talented"

"Your growing a big head Ashley, watch it"

"You love it Carlin" She smiled at me sending my stomach into a fit, her smile always did that to me.

She had to go to some stuff, so she left me alone to watch the bands. I think she was worried about my safety because I had a security guard behind me after she left. I looked around and stopped when I spotted someone I knew, Ally. I got up from my seat and walked over to say hi, she was with someone.

"Oh hey girl, didn't think I would see you back here"

"I came here to talk to someone, but they are busy so I'm waiting for them to be done"

"Oh well please sit with us, this is my friend Rikki"

"Hey I'm Spencer"

"Hey"

I sat down beside Ally, with Rikki on her other side. I continued to keep looking for Ashley, but there was no signs of her. My body shivered again like before, I felt like someone was watching me. I looked behind me, but all I could see was couples making out. This wasn't a movie theatre people, like EW.

"Your friends with Davies right?" I looked over at Ally with a raised eyebrow.

"Ya, why?"

"Do you like her?"

"She is cool to hang with"

"Doesn't her sister get upset?"

"No, she has her own friends"

"Oh okay" Ally turned back to watch the band, I turned back and wondered why she brought that question up.

After a few bands later, Ashley came on stage to announce there was one more band and that would be it for the night. I looked over to say by to Ally, and noticed Rikki looking at me. I gently tapped Ally, I whispered goodbye in her ear. When I got up she gave me a hug, I swear Rikki was upset that she did. I turned around to walk back stage to grab Ashley, what I saw made my stomach do that fit thing again. I walked out of the building using the side door, when I got to my car I heard my name.

"Where are you going Spencer?"

"I was heading home, thanks for letting me hang out here Ashley"

"Okay, well get home safe okay?" I didn't answer, I just got into my car and drove home. Something about seeing Ashley kissing a girl made my stomach go into a fit, and I didn't like the feeling.

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	13. Chapter 13

_I just write what is in my own head, i don't own nothing!_

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**Chapter 13**

After Spencer left I went back in to grab my stuff, I stopped when I was pulled into another kiss. I grabbed her shirt pulling her closer, backing her up to the wall. She was a good kisser, so I pulled her even closer then shoved her away.

"I have to go" I walked past her into my office grabbing my keys, and saw I had a text.

"Ashley come back to my place"

"Can't Becca maybe some other time okay?" I texted back Spencer telling her to meet me outside of her house.

"I know you got needs Ashley, let me take care of them" She was right, I do have needs just not tonight.

"I have to go"

I left without even looking back, if I did I might have stayed for some more action. I was single, 18 and I wanted sex a lot of sex. I had always gone to Becca for sex when I really needed some, and she always fulfill my desire. She did at one point want more than just sex, but after not getting where she finally gave up on that idea. Don't get me wrong she is a good person who will make someone really happy, but that person is not me.

"Why did you leave so quickly?" I asked Spencer while walking up to her, she was parked in front of my house.

"I saw you were busy, I didn't want to bother you when you were getting action" That made me laugh, I never heard someone say that the way she did.

"I rather be here talking to you, so did you had fun tonight?" Taking a seat on my front steps next to her.

"I did, thanks again for letting me hang out there"

"Your more than welcome Spencer, next time don't leave so early okay"

"Why?"

"Because I like having you around" I pushed a piece of her hair back so I could see the blush on her.

"Who was the girl?"

"Her name is Becca, she understands how I work so it comes in handy when I really need her"

"How you work?"

"I don't do relationships, I never have. So when I am craving some sexual healing I always call her because she never wants more then what I want"

"What if she had a girlfriend?"

"I don't know, it has never got to that point" we both laughed, and I watch her play with the end of her sleeves.

"Do you ever want to be in a relationship?"

"No, I have my reasons and I rather not get into it tonight" She nodded.

"I should get home, it is a school night"

"You can stay here so you don't wake up your parents"

"You sure?"

"Come on"

We got into my bedroom where I quickly pushed all my dirty clothes to one side, I wasn't ready to let her see that stuff. I grabbed a T shit, and tracks pants for her to wear to bed. I offered to take the washroom, while she changed in my room. I open the cabinet to grab my toothpaste and I saw the drugs. I grabbed it putting it in another drawer, after I was done everything I walked out climbing into bed beside Spencer.

"Thanks again for tonight Ashley"

"It was fun, we should do it more"

"Sounds good, good night"

"Goodnight Spencer" I watched her turn over to face the wall, I pulled the blankets up wrapping my arm around her. I relaxed when I felt her body fall into mine, and she intertwine our fingers together.

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	14. Chapter 14

_I don't anything!_

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**Chapter 14**

I was sitting in my bedroom looking over some stuff for school; I could hear my parents down stairs fighting. I took my control and turned up the music even louder. I highlighted some parts that I needed to know, I needed to pass this test. I jumped when I heard a bang; I looked up to see my mother standing in my room.

"I won't say it again, turn that shit off" I nodded turning my stereo off, my mother never liked my music.

"Sorry mom"

I got up grabbing my jacket, and headphones. I didn't want to be in this house, and the only other thing I wanted to do was run. There have been times where I would run so fast I thought I was never going to stop. Tonight was one of those nights; everything was getting too much again. I looked around and realized I ended up at the beach down the road from my place. I took a seat in the sand, trying to catch my breathe.

My parents loved each other, but there morals where so different. My father believed that we should be raised to love everyone, my mother wanted to raise us under the teaching of the bible. Every time we go to church it's like she makes me go to see if I get saved or something. I never did come out to them officially, but they do know I enjoy all humans. My mother really does not like that.

I watched the waves come crashing into the shore, something about it made me relax enough to hand back home. When I got onto my street I saw Ashley drive back in her car, I wonder if she had to work tonight or was visiting her friend. I stopped outside of her place, pulling off my hood.

"It's late why you are out here alone?" she asked, walking over to me.

"I needed to get out of my house"

"Should I ask why?" I shaked my head, looking at my house.

"Just my parents, I don't think they will ever be the same like before"

"Before?"

"They use to be so loving, now they are just cold and angry"

"Parents have a lot of their plates; it's hard enough to keep a relationship strong when there is a lot going on outside of that"

"How do you know this?"

"My parents went through a rough patch, and my dad told me that once when I asked why they wouldn't just get a divorce"

"Oh, I'm sorry your family went through that"

"I think I was the cause of the fighting mostly, I wasn't the best child to have"

"Why do you blame yourself so much, you're a teen you can explore?"

"I did more than exploring Spencer, I destroyed everything around me. I made my parents worry about me every second, and when I was home they were always making sure I was still safe"

"Then why did you do it?"

"I wanted to have some fun, I had some anger and I let it out the worst way"

"I understand, anyways I'm going to go finish my homework." Ashley nodded, heading into her house.

I sat down on my front porch, looking up at her bedroom window. Every night Kyla invites me over I spend it sleeping in Ashley arms. We never do talk about it, but maybe that's how it has to be. I think she is still searching for what she wants, as for me I am still searching to. I got up walking into the house, where I found my father drinking in the kitchen. I smiled at him as much as I could, and then walked up stairs to my room. I stopped at my mother's room; she was asleep in her bed. I continued into my room sitting on my bed, grabbing my teddy bear.

I wanted my family back to the way it was, where we all enjoyed are time together. When my mother and I use to spend the weekend shopping, and coming home to my father's cooking. They even use to come to my games, which stopped when my mother moved into another bedroom. Neither of them has sat me down to tell me what's going on, I guess they think I will figure it out on my own. I thought about asking them to just divorce anyways, but deep down I know they love each other a lot.

Ring Ring Ring

"Hello?"

"Why are you looking so down?" I looked over; Ashley was standing by her window looking over at me.

"Just think about stuff"

"Like?"

"Stuff"

"You know you can talk to me Spencer, I don't bite" I smiled.

"You just cuddle?"

"I only do that on rare occasions"

"Oh really, what a rare occasion"

"When it's you" I couldn't help but blush a little, she always had a way of words.

"I'll remember that, so how was your day?" I laid down staring at my ceiling, listening to Ashley tell me about her day.

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	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

I watched as she went up and down the court, shooting, passing, and scoring. I smiled when her teammates would run up giving her a fist pump, and when she would do the same. Something about her made me come to these games now; Kyla never can anymore since she started her soccer. I asked if she mind if she went to these, she said she didn't care. I didn't want her to feel like I was picking Spencer over her.

After the game was done, and of course won. I stayed leaning against the wall by the gym doors. When she finally noticed me, I nodded then turned to head out towards my car. I saw my old friends sitting where I use to, I couldn't help but think I should have had better friends. I leaned on the side door, turning my head to watch for Spencer.

"You were waiting for me?" I turned to see her all sweaty and still in her uniform.

"I thought this school had showers, not that what you're wearing is bad or anything"

"There is another thing going on so it's all packed full of hyped up girls, I was just going to head home and shower"

"Or you could come with me to Kyla's practice; I told her I would head over as soon as I could"

"I wish I could, I have so much homework and with my parents gone I really should use my time wisely"

"Your best friend will be all sad"

"Who you?"

"No I meant Kyla"

"I think she will be okay with it since it's just a practice, but thanks for the offer Ash"

"Ash?"

"It's called a nickname dummy"

"I know what it's called; I just haven't heard it in a while"

"Is this a good or bad thing?"

"It's good; I'll talk to you later"

"Probably tonight if I get all my work done "I smirked as I put my glasses on, getting into my rolling down the window.

"You sleeping over Carlin?"

"Depends"

"On?"

"On if I get my work done, bye Ash"

"Bye Carlin"

* * *

I arrived up at the fields in time to see my sister kick the ball around, she was really good. I stayed in my car; I didn't want her knowing I was here in case she stopped playing. I looked around to see who were all here and that when I spotted Aiden. I know they have been close, but I hope he told her the truth. I watched the coach blow the whistle, and my sister running over to Aiden. I know watching them liked spying, but I needed to know my lil sister was safe.

After kissing for a bit Aiden left in his truck, leaving Kyla to help clean up all the gear from practice. I took this as my time to come out in the open so she knew I was there for her. I walked over jumping onto her back making her scream, then she started to laugh when she saw it was me

"Fuck your heavy"

"Fuck you I'm so not heavy"

"How long have you been here?" I shrugged when she asked; I didn't want her to think I just came at the end.

"I came here right after Spencer's game, how was practice?"

"It was good, so are you two a thing?" I laughed as I kicked a ball into the neck running around cheering.

"We are friends Kyla, that's it"

"Are you sure, because I think Spencer might think something more"

"Well she knows I don't do relationships"

"Yet"

"What?" Kyla stopped looking over at me; she was blocking the sun with her one hand over her forehead.

"I think your falling for her Ashley, you have gone to all her games even when I don't, you let her sleep in your bed even when we have a spare room, and I hear you two talking every night outside"

"I'm pretty sure that's all things friends do Kyla"

"Do lesbian friend spoon?"

"I'm not a lesbian, and neither is she"

"Whatever you say sis, go grab the extra soccer balls over there so you can help me work on my kick" I nodded, walking over to grab the soccer balls thinking about what she had just said.

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	16. Chapter 16

_**I don't own Anything!**_

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**Chapter 16**

Ashley was siting across from me on her bed reading something, while I was writing down my homework. Her back was to me, so I couldn't see the book she was reading. I watched as she would slowly turn the page, and stop if she thought she missed something.

"What are you reading?" She didn't answer right away, when she was done she turned to look at me.

"A book"

"I know that, what is it called?" She put the book mark to save her spot, then closed it to hand it to me.

I didn't have to read the title to know what it was, I smiled and nodded. I didn't even think Ashley was the type to read, but I could see her reading this kind of book. I looked up to find her eyes staring right at me, made me wonder what she thought of me knowing.

"50 Shades of grey, good book" Ashley gave me a puzzled look, I guess I shocked her on that answer.

"You have read this book?"

"All three of them, I have the series in my closet."

"Dirty little secret stuck in the closet?"

"More like my mother is a catholic and would kick my ass for having something so erotic"

"Carlin I think you saying erotic would make your mom faint" we both laughed, I handed her back her book.

"Probably, but what she doesn't know won't her hurt. So are you enjoying it?"

"Yes I am, I enjoy the story line more then the sex"

"I think your just saying that since I am here"

"No, I think the sex would be amazing in real life. I just think the story line of two different people falling in love is good reading"

"From the person who doesn't believe in love"

"I never said that, I said I don't do relationships. I think love is something deeper then a relationship, anyone can have a relationship"

"Then what is love to you?"She looked down at the book, then looked over at me with full attention.

"Love is something that once is gone you can't breathe. Its when you find that person who gives you a purpose, and when they leave you die. Love is having to touch them all the time, because you can't help but feel the electricity go through you both. Love is when you would do anything for that person even if it means hurting your self"

"Wow"

"Love is hard to find, so people just run out of patients and settle for someone they know could never love them like they need"

"What do you mean?"

"I want someone who won't change me, but who will except my lifestyle even if it scares them"

"Your life style seem normal to me"

"This one, you don't know nothing about my sex life Spencer"

"Is that an invitation?"

"No, I don't want you for that"

"You say it like it's nothing, sex can be more then one night stands. Are you scared to let me into your sex life Ashley" she looked over into my eyes, I could see her throat take a swallow.

"Yes. I am."

"Why, its just sex Ashley nothing else"

"Because I think I could fall for you Spencer, I already get nervous around you."

"You get nervous around me?" Ashley nodded.

"I do, I don't like it so I hide it"

"Why do I make you nervous"

"Because I want to have you deeper, but I know I can't"

"Why not?"

"I don't do relationships Spencer" There was a knock at the door when Kyla poked her head in.

"Dinner is ready"

"Thanks"

We got up from the bed putting away everything that was out, I made sure to put everything of mine in my bag. When I turned around Ashley was sitting on her bed looking up at me, I raised my eyebrow at her. She got up from her spot walking over, putting her one hand on my side and the other on my face. I froze, her thumb was grazing my lip slowly. I wanted to lean in and take her lips with mine, but she pulled away. I watched as she gently kissed my cheek, turning to leave her bedroom. I let go of the cord I was holding for my laptop, I didn't know if I could move.

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R&amp;R Please


	17. Chapter 17

_I don't own anything, I just write._

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**Chapter 17**

I laughed at my sister who was putting chop sticks in her mouth, my mom was laughing so hard she was coughing. I looked over at Spencer; she had tears in her eyes from laughing so hard. It was nice to have these moments with everyone I cared for, I felt so relaxed. I swung my feet over the counter and kept eating my noodles. Spencer was sitting beside me making sure not to make eye contact with me, and my mom was sitting at the table with my sister.

"I thought I taught you not to play with your food Kyla?"

"No I don't think you ever taught us that mom" we all laughed again when my mom just shrugged.

"Beside remember when you started the food fight that one Christmas!"

"That's because you all were so upset about not going snowboarding"

"Of course dad said we were, then the hill was closed" My mom rolled her eyes, making us laugh again.

"He promised you both the world, but only gave you Oceans" I looked over and nodded with Kyla because we knew it was true.

"Well I am tired, goodnight kid-lets" my mom went around giving us each a kiss on the cheek, even Spencer.

"Goodnight mom, we love you!" Kyla screamed as she scraped her bowl out into the waste.

"are you heading to bed too sis?" she nodded, and help Spencer clean the table.

"I am so tired from today, we can hang more tomorrow"

"Okay" I gave her a hug sending her off to her room, I turned to see Spencer looking out my kitchen window.

I walked over behind her, looking at her reflection through the window. She looked like something was bothering her, I slowly turned her around. Her eyes were darker, her blue eyes were now a deep blue.

"You okay Spencer?"

"Just tired, I'm going to go to bed okay?" I nodded, letting her walk past me to the stairs.

"My room?"

"Of course"

I went around turning off all the lights, making sure the doors were locked. I took off my shirt as I headed up the stairs, throwing it into the laundry as I passed it. I walked into my room just as Spencer was pulling off her shirt, her body was so beautiful. I closed the door gently not to startle her, but she still turned to look at me. She slid her fingers into her pants pulling them down, her muscles made a 'V'.

"Damn"

"Thanks" Spencer blushed getting under the covers lying down on her side, her body was turned so she could see me still.

"Are you waiting for your own strip show now?"

"Never crossed my mind, besides I was still in my underwear so it wasn't a strip show" I nodded, taking off my pants the same way as she did.

"Damn" I watched as her eyes go big, when she realized I wasn't wearing any underwear.

"Same"

I walked over to my side taking off my bra, climbing into bed. I turned so I was facing her, the covers were just covering my bottom half. She reached over tracing her finger around my nibble, making me have Goosebumps. She ran her one finger down my stomach stopping at the top of the covers, she looked up at me.

"Can I?"

**_Sorry I had to give you all just a little tease! , next chapter...might...just might...have some loving ;) - Sushi1976_**

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	18. Chapter 18

_I don't own anything ._

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**_******R RATED! *******_**

**Chapter 18**

I was on my back looking up at her, Ashley had flipped me onto my back and now was hovering over me. I melting just being under her, and feeling her skin brush against mine. She moved like she thought I was fragile and didn't want to break me. I slowly reached up sliding back some of her hair behind her ear. Her face was beautiful; she hid it too much behind her hair.

"Say something" She kept looking at me with so much want in her eyes, but she wasn't moving.

"Do you trust me Spencer?" I nodded, suddenly I couldn't speak.

"Don't"

I moaned as her lips attacked mine, her hands pinning mine above my head. Her tongue slid across my lips, demanding entrance. Her tongue was driving me crazy flicking mine, her teeth were pulling my lip. I griped her hands tighter; I just wanted her inside me already. Ashley pulled back so she could look at me, going back in to bite my lip pulling it even harder.

"Fuck"

I swear I heard her growl when she said that. Ashley dragged her nails down my left arm to my stomach, making me flex. Her lips were making their way over to my neck, where I moaned as she sank her teeth into me.

"Oh fuck!" I couldn't help but let out a scream, she wasn't holding back at all with me and I liked it.

She reached down with her free hand into my underwear, running her fingers through my folds. I heard her moan when she felt how wet, and warm I was. I rand my hand up her bareback, dragging my nails into her shoulder blade. I wanted her to just fuck me already; she was driving me crazy with this teasing. I turned my head taking her lips in mine, my hand went to her hair griping it hard.

"Please" Ashley raised her finger to my mouth; I sucked on it tasting myself. Fuck this girl was going to be the death of me.

"Please what?"

"Fuck me"

Ashley took my hand intertwining it again, kissing me deeper than before. I felt her body grind into mine; I let out a moan as she used this to bite and pull my lip. I tried to let go of her hands so I could grip on her, she wouldn't let me. Her lips were gone from mine, and now were kissing down my stomach towards my pussy.

"Fuck yes, please don't stop!"

Ashley let go of my hands bringing them down to hold my stomach with one, and open my legs with the other. I looked down to see her eyes looking right back at me; they shut as she licked up my slit taking my clit into her mouth moaning. My heals went into the bed, my body shot up then back down by the force of her hand.

"Oh fuck yes, yes yes!"

I felt her kiss up my bare stomach, her hands grabs my arms pinning them above my head again. I open my eyes to see those deep dark brown eyes looking down at me; I leaned up brushing my lips against hers. I looked up at my hands as I felt something on them, Ashley was tying my wrists to her bed post.

"Relax" as she laid gentle kisses down my right side of my neck, down to my pelvis as she dragged her one hand down.

"Ash no teasing"

"What do you want Spencer?"

"I want you to fuck me"

"You want me deep inside you?"

"Yes!"

With two fingers she shoved was inside me deep and very hard. She slowed down so I could get use to her fingers, then once I was relaxed her fingers were going faster. Her tongue was around my clit, through my folds, and inside me with her fingers. I moaned every time I felt her slide into me, and screamed as the my wrist got pulled.

"More!" Ashley smirked as she pulled out her fingers, sucking them clean then running them through my soaked folds.

"You want more?"

"Yes!"

"Good"

More is what I got, all four fingers were down pounding into me at once. My body was shocked with overwhelming desire for this. I gripped the rope and started to pound against her fingers faster, I wanted it harder and I didn't want it to stop.

"release me Ash, I want to touch you!" Ashley shakes her head; pulling out her fingers and pounding them back in again.

"Not till you cum"

I wrapped my one leg around her so my heel was digging onto her back, as my other was pushing my up towards her fingers. I screamed louder every time I felt the pain from my wrist, and the pleasure from being fucked by her fingers.

"You're so tight, fuck!" She moaned into my soaked almost Cumming pussy, flicking your tongue to set me off.

"Oh fuck Ashley I'm Cumming!" I griped the rope Cumming down her fingers, onto her arm.

Ashley kept pounding into me as I came, licking up all the cum that had dripped out of me. She slid her fingers out holding two up for her to lick clean, and the other two for me to enjoy. She went back down licking up more of the cum that had dripped out, my body started to settle down.

"You okay?" I couldn't speak, so I just nodded.

"Spencer answer"

"Yes Ashley I'm okay"

"Do you want to stop?"

"No"

"Good" She crawled up undoing the rope so my hands were free to grip onto her, but it was for long since she flipped me over onto my stomach. I looked back at her, she reached over for a bottle that looked like lube.

"Spencer have you ever tried Anal?"

"No"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes"

"Don't"

_**Good? ...Bad?...Let me know - Sushi1976**_

_**R&amp;R Please**_


	19. Chapter 19

I don't own anything!

Chapter 19

I tried to focus on the teacher who was now talking about something I didn't really care about, but I couldn't. I was looking down at my notebook as I was drawing little bubbles in the corner of my page. My mind kept going back to last night with Ashley. This morning when I got up she was there lying next to me asleep. Usually it's her that staring at me when I wake up, but this morning I could tell she was very tired.

After staring at each other I finally broke the silence and said good morning. We went on to talk about what had happen, both agreeing it was amazing. I could tell there was something else going on in her head, but I didn't ask. After a little make out session I left to go get ready for school, where Kyla kept bugging me about why I looked different today.

"Spencer Carlin?" I looked up to see the teacher and everyone in class looking at me.

"Yes sir?"

"Please pay attention, this will be on the test" I nodded, and then went back to doodling in my book.

After class was done I headed to my locker to get my books for the next class, I really just wanted to skip and go back to bed. I checked my phone and I had a message from Ashley, smiling I text back saying I would come out. She was in the parking lot and wanted to talk.

I spotted her leaning against her car with shades on; she wasn't the one for light. I walked over placing my bag on her car giving her a smile that I knew she loved.

"What's up Ash?"

"Spencer we need to talk"

"About?" She looked around, and then grabbed my hand to walk us over the nearest picnic table where we sat down.

"Last night shouldn't have happen, I'm sorry"

"Ashley I wanted it just as much as you, don't worry about it"

"No, Spencer I don't do relationships and you know that"

"Like I said before I know you don't, I get that it was just sex to you"

"You're okay with that?" I shrugged, what I was supposed to say that I loved her and demand she be in a relationship with me.

"I guess, I can't force you to be with me Ashley"

"So you want a relationship then"

"Yes I do, but you don't and I get it"

"Why did you let last night happen?"

"Because you wanted it too Ashley, it takes two to tangle you could have stopped"

"I don't think I could have even if I tried"

"Why?" she turned her head to me, her eyes were staring right at me.

"I want to be that for you. I want to be that relationship that makes you happy and feel safe, I just can't Spencer"

"You can't or you won't let yourself?"

"I won't let myself; I don't want to hurt you"

"Then don't hurt me Ashley"

"It's not that simple!" She got up running her hand through her hair, putting her glasses back on.

"Ashley its simple as that, you don't want to hurt me then don't"

"Spencer I'm not your forever after okay, I'm sorry I didn't want this to happen. I tried to keep my feelings tucked away like usual but something about you brings them out"

"You deserve to be happy Ashley, to be with someone"

"No Spencer, just don't okay. I'm sorry last night happen, and for now on I will keep my distance from you."

"That will kill me Ashley, I like having you around"

"I'm sorry" She turned walking back to her car, speeding away back to where ever she came from.

I sat there on the picnic table going over what had just happen, I felt like I just got broken up with. I wiped the tear that came down off my cheek, grabbing my bag to go to class. As I walked I felt more hurt, like every step made me feel what had happen more real. I stopped and turned into the girl's washroom leaning over the bathroom sink. I looked up and saw my makeup and run down, and I looked like a mess. I turned and kicked a bathroom stall door, and screamed.

"Spencer?" I turned and saw Ally standing in the doorway, she looked a little shocked.

"Hey"

"You okay, wait I take that back you're not" she walked over slowly, placing her bag down by the wall.

"I'm fine; I just am having a bad day"

"Want to talk about it?"

"No, what I want is to not be here."

"Let's go, we can go somewhere besides this hell whole"

"Okay, thanks"

R&amp;R Please


	20. Chapter 20

_I don't own anything..._

Chapter 20

1 week later…

Closing the door gently not to wake up anyone, I drop my keys in the dish by the door walking towards the kitchen. I found the light on, with my sister siting there on her laptop. I grab a soda from the fridge, walking over to sit beside her.

"Hey dork, what's up?"

"Just finishing some homework so mom will let me go to this party tomorrow night" I nodded, taking a sip of my drink.

"Sounds fun, are you enjoying all these parties?"

"I go for the music, and to hang out with my friends. I'm not into the drinking so much, but I do get drunk sometimes"

"Speaking of friends how is our neighbour?" It's been a week since I talked to Spencer.

"I haven't really seen her lately; she has been hanging out with Ally a lot."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Like I said, she has her friends and I have mine."

"Do you like Ally?"

"She's cool, I thought you two were hitting it off though"

"Well things got busy I guess, I'm going to head to bed goodnight sis" I got up putting my soda away.

"She said you two had a fight"

"Who?"

"Ally, she is in my drama class and said Spencer told her"

"Goodnight"

Walking into my room grabbing the sheets on my bed, tossing them into the hamper. I had been so busy this past week I hadn't change them. I noticed something had fell, it was a Spencer bracelet. I picked it up, it was graved with her initials. I walked over to my window and notice her light was on. I pulled out my phone.

Found this – A, attached was a picture of the bracelet.

I was looking everywhere for that- S

Meet me outside? – A

Ok – S

I grabbed the bracelet, and a textbook that she had left also. I walked down stairs noticing my sister had left the kitchen. When I got outside Spencer was just walking outside also, wearing her team sweater. I walked over handing her the stuff.

"You left this also; I haven't had the chance to really clean my room so I just noticed it"

"Thanks, I don't think I'm missing anything else." I nodded; I didn't really know what else to say to her.

"How's everything?"

"Good, you?"

"Same, Kyla said you have been busy"

"Well with games, school, and a girlfriend you get pretty busy"

"Girlfriend?"

"Ya Ally and I really hit it off, who knew "I placed my hands in my pockets.

"Well I'm happy for you, I should go to bed I have an early opening tomorrow"

"Something big happening?"

"My mom is running a fundraiser at my shop; it's to help raise money for a new homeless shelter"

"I didn't know your mom was into that stuff, she seems too busy"

"A friend of hers lost their house do to a fire, and my mom realized how hard it is to be homeless or something. I actually shocked to see her home most night for dinner and to even watch Kyla play"

"Sounds she is becoming someone new"

"Guess so, I'll see you around Carlin"

"Ashley?" I turned around to face the eyes that made my heart hurt.

"Ya?"

"Thanks"

"Anytime"

I walked back inside, up to my room. I grabbed the papers I needed for tomorrow, and placed them in my bag so I wouldn't forget about them. I changed quickly into my sweats, and then got under the blankets. It was quiet for a bit, too quiet for my liking. I got up from my bed to turn on my stereo, I spotted Spencer. I knew I should look away, but I couldn't. I watched as the clothes fell off of her, and her tone stomach became visible. I swallowed, gripping the remote in my hand. Then it went black, and the beautiful girl next door went to bed.

I walked back over to my bed, looking over at where Spencer would usally sleep. I ran my hand over the pillow, then through it on the ground. I stared at the ceiling, and starting to sing along with the music till I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

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	21. Chapter 21

_I don't own anything!_

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**Chapter 21**

Spencer

Ally and I were at the beach soaking up the sun; of course she had to push me in so I needed to dry off. We were lying down on a blanket she had brought, and our fingers were intertwined. I looked over at her, and found her with her eyes closed. She was wearing a bikini, and it really brought out her skin tone.

"Want to go for a walk?" she open one eye and looked over at me, to give me what do you mean kind of look.

"Why, its warm here and I just got relaxed babe"

"Okay well I'm going to go walk" I got up from my spot just to be pulled down by Ally; she reached up resting her hand on my face. Ally leaned up kissing me gently; I could test the cigarette smoke. I wasn't a big fan and she knew that.

"Stay baby, and relax with me" I rolled my eyes and played down beside her again, this time putting my hands under my head.

Ally and I have a certain connection; I can feel it I just don't know what it is. We have been dating for just over a week, and I know she makes me happy. Sometimes I find her annoying, but she makes up for it by doing cute things like today. She picked me up with a car full of panic stuff, to take me out on a picnic date. I was thrilled because I love the beach, and picnics.

It was little moments like not going for a walk with me, or just not wanting to do things I wanted that made me think that we don't work as a couple. I looked over at her again; she had her eyes closed and was now probably asleep. I got up again; this time didn't turn back and just keep walking down the beach till I found a rock to sit on.

I watched the waves coming and going, and listen to all the joy everyone was having today. Lately I have been trying to be anywhere but home, my parents needed to just break already. Ally never asked anything about them, and she doesn't question why I haven't introduced her to them. In fact I don't think we even ever talked about my family. She has told me about hers, and they seem pretty great. My family isn't the best, but I think that's because my parents don't work anymore as one.

A couple walked past me laughing, I looked over to see Ally still asleep where I left her. I wonder if Ashley would be like her, or would she have followed me. I miss the nights curled up to Ashley, and waking up knowing she was going to be staring at me. I miss feeling eyes on me when I was at her café, I could sense her watching me. The night we finally made love was the best night of my life, but now I'm just another one night stand to her.

I reached down to grab my phone as it was buzzing,

"Hello?"

"Hey Spence, want to come over for a movie night?" I haven't hung out with Kyla since I started dating Ally, I had missed her.

"Sure, sounds fun"

"Ally can come to if she wants" I looked over at Ally, surprising she actually noticed I was gone and was coming over.

"I'll ask her and let you know. I'll be there at 6 is that okay?"

"Yes, I'll order pizza!" I laughed at how excited she got over her favorite food, I said goodbye and hung up the food.

"Who was that?"

"Kyla" Ally sat down beside me, kissing my bare shoulder and intertwining our fingers.

"What did she want?"

"She is having a movie night and wanted to know if we would want to come"

"I'm not feeling a movie night"

"Well I said I would go, you don't have to though"

"I thought we could stay in and have an alone time since my parents are gone" I rolled my eyes; Ally was a horn dog also.

"Maybe another night"

"Fine" with that said she was walking over to our spot packing all our stuff up; as I sat there I wondered if this was really going to work between us.

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